Street justice for Zimmerman's cracker ass

We're trying to challenge injustice, we're trying to help people who've been wrongly convicted. We're trying to confront bias and discrimination in the administration of criminal justice system... - Bryan Stevenson 

We're trying to attempt to right our government's blatant failure to bring justice to victims like Trayvon Martin and his family. For the past year I seemed to have lost my sight and passion in my Criminal Justice and Law studies; I thought "what am I doing here? I won't be able to change a damn thing" well, the devastating verdict of the Zimmerman trial rekindled the fire in me that is determined to do right in the US CJ system's world of wrong.

Rest in Peace Trayvon Martin and may your family find peace.

Friendship

You know what word is pretty cool?  ca·ma·ra·de·rie  

It looks cool and it's cool to say. What's not cool is the issue I have finding camaraderie! Throughout my life I have gone through a handful of "best friends." Looking back as far as grade school, I reflect on how awesome friendship is when you are a child. It's brutally honest and always upfront. There is no question about hanging out or making time for each other because you already know that after school or on the weekend, you're hangin' out with your very best pal(s). There's always something to do because everything is fun, new, and exciting when you're a kid, whether it's outside, inside, at a park, in your cool room, on top of a car, in a cardboard box, in the guts of the house being built down the street, etc. The places kids find to hang out at range from mundane to super fucking weird. 

And then you grow up. 

Most of the friendships I have made in my late teens and early 20's have been based on partying. Maybe that's what happens when you don't have any real hobbies? So I guess when it comes down to the willy nilly, those friendships are weak and tend to fade quickly. If there's not a party or a cool bar to hang out at or if ya just don't feel like getting high or having drinks, what's there to do? 

The truth is, I've always had trouble connecting with people on a deeper level. I often feel misunderstood and like an outcast. Don't I sound like a whiny high-schooler? lol. But for real though, I got issues. I went through physical and sexual abuse, abandonment by my mom, neglect by my dad, deaths in the home I was living in, separation from my brother/best friend, yadda yadda yadda. Everyone has issues, I know, and I'm not the only one that had a fucked up childhood. But sometimes I just cannot relate to other people my age. The way I feel about a lot of 'em is that their privileges and the issues in their lives that they tell me about are just so foreign to me that I just can't empathize with or understand them. Aside from all that, I am doomed with another issue: I'm totally a product of our ~progressive~ generation. Ingrained in me are some hella liberal beliefs that tend to clash with the beliefs of others. 

For now, I'll put a pause on this over-analyzation of my failing social life. But with all of that said, my goal is to improve my social interactions and take a more positive outlook on making connections with people.  

Hello? Is anybody out there?

I guess I'll start blogging again since I'm on a break from school to work more, that way I'm at least still writing (and I'll probs need some place to vent!!) 

Now that I'm working full time and coming home tired/not wanting to do anything but sit my ass on the couch, I've been reading more. I finally finished Certain Girls by Jennifer Weiner after like, two years of having the book lmao. Morgan left the book here when she visited after starting it just after she left I realized it was gonna be a painful one to get through. Why not just stop reading you ask? Well, that's just something I'm incapable of doing. Starting a book and not finishing it, that is. The story just isn't relatable or believable at all to me. The author's personal insecurities are pretty apparent in the transparent storyline so it's almost awkward to read. Even the most intimate moments that were supposed to make the reader emotional just didn't...work. Like I was wanting to cry because of whatever sad thing was happening but the writing was just so bad I kept getting crying blue balls. Anyway, this isn't supposed to be a book review. I guess I'm just writing about it because I want to keep track of the books I read. So, there ya go.

Now I'm readin' some Ralph Waldo Emerson. Fucking random, right? Well I totally judged the book by its cover. I saw this fancy and old looking book on the shelf at Savers so I went ahead and bought it.   The book contains his famous essays and shit. It's actually really beautiful, even if I don't understand every other word, HA. His work is pretty obscure and philosophical, but I get the gist of what he's saying, and a lot of it really resonates with me. I'll try to scrounge up some of my favorite quotes so far. 

This one, about reading, is pretty appropriate for this post, I suppose:

Books are the best of things, well used; abused, amonth the worst. What is the right use? What is one end, which all means go to effect. They are for nothing but to inspire.

And since I'm in my 20s and battling with getting to know myself, this quote on individualism inspires me:

We will walk on our own feet; we will work with out own hands; we will speak our own minds. 

I'm me, and I'm all I've got. /cheesiness I can either aim high or low and I can either be happy or discontent. Either way, I'm the only damn person that can change anything about my life. Lately, I've been receiving unsolicited advice from strangers in their 30s-40s that is strangely applicable to my life right now. I like to think it's because even though they don't know me, they see something special in me and they'd like to give me some tips for small successes in life. I'm starting to realize it's the little things in life that count.

fashion inspiration? why not

not like I will ever have the ability to put outfits like these together but here's a cute fashion pix dump

"He loved her, he loved her, and until he'd loved her she had never minded being alone...."

So I stopped taking my birth control pills for a few weeks and I was feeling fantastic until I started taking them again about a week ago and the random bad moods started creeping back up on me. At least being conscious about it helps a little bit but GOD it's so hard to shake that feeling in my stomach sometimes.

I just got off the phone with Colton. I miss him so much but I know the time we spend apart is good for us because it makes us appreciate each other more. I have to say that as much bullshit I've gone through with Colt since he joined the marine corps, it's been an experience that has opened my eyes to what is Really Important (lol) and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I've matured in ways that I probably never would have if I stayed in Corpus.

ANYWAY enough srs bsnss. I finally got a nice new camera BUT THEN IT BROKE so I sent it in to Leica to get fixed today. I'm so bummed man idk why I have the worst luck with cameras but I do. I did take a couple photos before it died though so I'll dump 'em here.

The path Ladybird and I run/walk/skate/bike down every morning and evening

Snorkeling and sail cruise

Haha cute v-day card Colt put his personal touch on

Sunset view from my backyard. I love when the sky does this

Sunset at pipe

lemon zest chicken with angel hair pasta and steamed green beans

LAZY DINNER!!!!!

such an easy dinner! all you need is:

+

+ steam bag green beans from the frozen aisle